A New Delhi tycoon is reported to be promoting a real estate venture called ReciproCity, where Indians and Americans can live happily ever after, following the recent bruising spat involving the Diplomat and the Housekeeper. I have received sketchy details of the project, whose brochure/prospectus shows several large buildings within ReciproCity where apartments are being booked very quickly.
Most law-enforcement types, including US Marshals, the Bureau of Diplomatic Security and Delhi Police, are flocking to two buildings called AtroCity and FeroCity. State Department and South Block bureaucrats are booking apartments in two buildings called DupliCity and CompliCity. Apartments in two other high-end buildings called RapaCity and MendaCity, which have all kinds of fancy-fittings and bells and whistles — including rooftop helipads, indoor golfing and bank vaults — are being taken mainly by Indian politicians, mining barons, real estate moguls, and buccaneer corporate types. Many Americans, mainly soulless multinational executives, military contractors and Big Pharma representatives, are also buying apartments here.
Most TV journalists are booking flats in a building called LoquaCity. All the apartments here face inwards into a large atrium, creating a huge echo chamber. The rooftop has been occupied by squatters, calling themselves bloggers, tweeters, facebookers etc. The gutter press is in the basement. Some print journalists, NGOs, RTI activists and aam admi types have tentatively looked at apartments in TenaCity and PugnaCity, but they are on the outer fringes of ReciproCity, and it requires a long uphill trek to get there.
Surprisingly, there are no takers for apartments in AuthentiCity, the building earmarked for journalists, because it has no elevators and one has to climb the stairs to get to the higher reaches. Embittered left-wing editorialists and talking heads are booking in CaustiCity, which is also on the outer fringes because it emits hot air and pungent smoke. Superannuated diplomats and scribes 80 years and older are flocking to a building called EccentriCity, which is beyond the outer fringes, which some call the lunatic fringes. A few journalists and politicians, hard to distinguish from each other, have also booked apartments in PubliCity and SalaCity.
Some women, both Indian and American, have opted for a building called VivaCity that has a spa, beauty salon, yoga studio etc. That includes the Diplomat, who has apartments in several other buildings, including AudaCity. She booked an apartment in AudaCity not knowing that the Housekeeper, funded by NGOs and human rights groups, was also buying one there. The Indian government reportedly offered an apartment to the Housekeeper’s family in a building called DomestiCity, but they refused. They wanted to be in AudaCity, right in the Diplomat’s face.
A few politicians have also bought places in VeloCity, which has a special helipad called Escape, which they say others in buildings such as PauCity, ScarCity and DomestiCity can use. But there are no ironclad guarantees, just their word.
I’ve been looking to buy an apartment in a building called VeraCity, which the realtor told me about, but i could not find it in the brochure. When i went physically to ReciproCity, they kept giving me the runaround, telling me it’s here, it’s there, it is somewhere. But i could never find it. Curiously, i ran into a building called ElectriCity that was very ill-lit, mostly dark. Someone said a new politician from Delhi had inspected it recently.
I think I will buy a small apartment in a no-frills building called SimpliCity. It’s next to a really nice, quiet, empty and rather majestic building called SagaCity. Apparently, no one even wants to enter that building.